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06 October 2011 @ 07:32 pm
A Unique Eulogy  
Title: A Unique Eulogy
Rating: PG
Characters: Myka Bering/H.G. Wells
Spoilers: through 3x11/12 Emily Lake/Stand
Summary: She isn't sure if working at the Warehouse is a gift or a curse when you can bring back your dead lover.
Notes: Many thanks to leanstein for looking over if it sucked or not. ;) For the record, I do think the canon will fix it. And if it does not, I will just be forever sobbing over HG. But I wanted to write something where the death stuck, and explore that angst.



"Myka?" Her voice is soft, confused. "Why didn't you destroy the coin? I thought we agreed-"

"You're dead."

Myka's bedroom has never been this cold. She's never lost so much at once, and she's never had the ability to bring someone back. It's days like this when she isn't sure if being a Warehouse agent is a gift or a curse.

"I'm- excuse me?" Helena frowns at her as if she's lost her mind. "I thought I was a teacher?"

Myka collapses onto her bed. Her hands, steady in the most dire of situations, are trembling. She was never trained for this possibility, for the ghost of a lover to stare at her as she tells her of her own death. Myka coughs, tries to speak, but the words are too thick and catch in her throat.

"Where's Pete?" Helena asks. "Why wasn't the coin destroyed?"

"They don't know I have the orb," she says. "Pete tried to destroy the coin, but he was stopped. You were restored."

"I hate to argue." Helena waves a hand through Myka's desk. "Unless my body has gained some serious anatomical changes, I don't believe this is it."

"You and I... you saved me, and we saved the Warehouse, but we were wrong. There was a bomb and the protective barrier was activated... you rewired it to protect Pete, Artie and me but you weren't... you couldn't..."

Helena falters. "Oh. How-"

"The coin holds the last impression it kept until it's bagged or reused," Myka says. A long pause draws out between them.

"Two acts of nobility from a criminal," Helena says wryly. "What is the world coming to?"

"Shut up!" The outburst surprises Myka as much as it does Helena. Myka starts again, her voice almost indistinguishable. "I told you after you were restored that you're not a bad guy. You're a hero, Helena. If anyone doubted it before, you've more than proved it now."

Emotion floods Helena's face. Myka looks away from her, not because of the emotion itself but because of the memory of seeing it before. Her wound is still too fresh, and every memory of Helena ties to the memory of her death.

"Okay," Helena says. She moves to stand beside Myka's bed. "Why did you bring me back?"

"I don't know," Myka admits. She pulls her legs up to her chest and tucks her chin into her knees. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I know it's selfish, but I just couldn't..." Myka raises her head to look at Helena. Tears catch at the corners of her eyes and she wipes them off with her sleeve. She refuses to let them fall.

Helena lowers herself so that she's eye-to-eye with Myka. She instinctively reaches a hand out to Myka's, but it immediately phases and becomes indistinguishable. She takes it back. "Myka, you know I can't stay."

"Why?"

Helena laughs. "I've never seen you pout before. Is this what eight-year-old Myka looked like?"

"Eight-year-old Myka was usually too busy reading a book to make faces," Myka murmurs.

Helena grins. "Of course. Silly me, thinking you were ever truly a child."

Her grin coaxes a small smile from Myka. "I did throw a mud pie at a boy once."

"Was it Pete?" Helena asks.

Myka rolls her eyes. "As a child."

"Everyone knows you have a temper, dear. Especially with men, poor substandard species they can be." Helena pauses. "He's good for you, you know. You need someone to invade your little serious bubble every now and then."

"My serious bubble? Did you learn that from Freud?"

Helena rolls her eyes. "Terrible man. I never could smoke a cigar around him without a lecture about my penis envy."

A strangled laugh escapes Myka's throat. "You've seen so much. Done so much, know so much. You can't just-"

"Die?" Helena shakes her head and gets to her feet. "Everyone dies, I'm afraid. Warehouse agents sooner than most. I've had- did have- a good run. Certain events aside, I'm proud of it. I'm... I'm proud that we met. Wells and Bering, solving cases and retrieving artifacts."

"Bering and Wells," Myka says. She can't stop the tears now, doesn't even bother to wipe them away. Helena laughs.

"Shouldn't you be more upset?" Myka demands.

Helena shrugs. "My mind was rewritten to be someone I never even knew. I was already dead. Besides, I sacrificed myself twice in a day. I'm practically a saint now."

Myka sobs.

"It was meant to be a joke," Helena offers. "Yes, I'm upset that I'm dead. But I cannot imagine a better way to have gone out. Well, I can think of a few more pleasurable ways to leave this world-" a blush spreads across Myka's cheeks, "but none more noble or worthwhile. You saved me, Myka. The least I could do was return the favor."

"I can't do this."

Helena smiles down at her. "I appreciate the dramatics dear, but we both know that isn't true. You will continue your work, continue to be brilliant, and you will move on."

"No-"

"I'm not saying you'll forget me," Helena amends quietly, "or that I won't mean anything. You're strong Myka, so strong. Perhaps not today, or tomorrow, but I rest easy knowing that you will continue on with that strength."

"You're wrong," Myka says, defiant to the order to heal.

"I'm H.G. Wells," she says. Her lips twitch in amusement. "I am many things, but wrong is not one of them."

"We could use the Janus coin on another body, we could bring you back and-"

"I wasn't aware live bodies without minds were in such high supply," Helena says.

Myka shakes her head. "A coma patient then, or- or-"

"You will not take someone's life at my account."

"It wouldn't be-"

"No. Consider it my dying wish if you must."

Myka looks down at her floor to avoid her, but it's useless.

"You must destroy the coin," Helena adds. Myka already knew that, knew she would do it after this conversation or have Pete do it for her. Hearing it laid out bare makes her shake her head.

"What if we need you to solve a case? What if-"

"Myka," her voice is quiet, too full of understanding and care and love. Myka hates her for it.

"What if I need you?" Myka demands.

"You know me better than anyone," Helena says quietly. "If you need to know what I'd think, you'll already know it. It's time to let me go now."

"I don't want to," she says. Her vision blurs and her heart aches and that's what all of this comes down to in the end.

"Nor do I," Helena agrees. "But this is not a choice. How many others would get this opportunity? I am glad to have known you, Myka Bering. I still can't imagine what I could possibly say that would be adequate."

"Me either," Myka agrees. "I- I lov-" The words catch and she shakes her head. "Please, don't go."

Helena takes in a deep a breath. The action is false without her body, and that hurts more than Myka thought possible. The orb rests on Myka's bureau and Helena moves to stand beside it. She motions for Myka to join her.

Myka wants to put her feet on the floor and never move them again. She wants to kick and scream and throw a fit and refuse. She could, if she wanted to. She could keep the orb all to herself and no one would ever know. Helena can protest all she wants, but in the end it's Myka's choice.

Slowly her feet trod along the carpet, which has suddenly gotten impossibly long and entirely too short. Helena nods at her, and lightly places one hand just above the orb, where it still looks whole and real. Myka picks the orb up. Her hands tremble with the weight of it.

"I can't..." Myka's voice trails off. Can't let you go. Can't end this. Can't never talk to you again. Can't kill you.

"Pete will handle it," Helena says. "Let them be there for you, Myka."

"Helena... I-"

"Me too." Helena squares her shoulders and keeps her eyes right on Myka. "I'm ready."

"Don't you want to see the sky?"

"No," she says. Her hand wraps around her locket; her eyes don't waver. "Goodbye, Myka."

Myka begins to twist the orb back into place. Her voice and her hands shake. She isn't sure she'll ever get her steadiness back. In a few months time it will be Helena's words about her strength that she clings to more than anything else. In a year she'll see the truth in them.

"Goodbye, Helena."
 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
 
.: [tscc] John/Camerontimepassedyouby on October 7th, 2011 02:25 am (UTC)
...Oh.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:31 pm (UTC)
Yeah, sorry about the oh but thanks for reading! ;)
rhyfeddu: W13 - Mykarhyfeddu on October 7th, 2011 03:54 am (UTC)
Just as the lump in my throat had settled....

Wonderful and wrenching. Thanks?
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:31 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry and you're welcome? All at once. Thanks for reading. :)
Kay: little girl lost oliviadealan311 on October 7th, 2011 04:52 am (UTC)
My heart is breaking right now. Thanks for that.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:32 pm (UTC)
Sorry for the heartbreak but I blame Warehouse, obviously. Thanks for reading! :)
tornainbowtornainbow on October 7th, 2011 07:41 am (UTC)
This was lovely, perfect, and perfectly in character. :)
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It's always nice to know I'm not writing them terribly out of character. :) Thanks for reading!
Sallyi_smell_apples on October 7th, 2011 08:30 am (UTC)
Oh I love that idea! *goes off to cry*
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
Maybe she can just keep an adorable little holographic HG in her pocket forever. Thanks for reading. ♥
Fangirlosaurus Rex: [w13] time machineshibernate on October 7th, 2011 08:35 am (UTC)
PAIN. HEARTBREAK. This is wonderful and so very sad.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:34 pm (UTC)
Sorry about the pain and heartbreak but yay for the fic doing the right thing? I'm glad it's at least wonderful and sad. Thanks for reading. :)
arabian_proverb: Fairiesarabian_proverb on October 7th, 2011 02:08 pm (UTC)
T_T And here I thought I was done crying....T_T FOREVER
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:35 pm (UTC)
It's okay! The stopwatch is totally to fix this. So just crying until the next season. Or, you know, we can all form a mob if that doesn't end up being true. Thanks for reading! :)
gabatron123gabatron123 on October 7th, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)
Yeahhhh....This is just heartbreaking! I didn't think i could cry any more but i was wrong.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
I think everyone in the fandom just slips in to that, "Oh, I'm okay now. No... nevermind." cycle. Thanks for reading. :)
mayireadtoday: hgwellsmayireadtoday on October 7th, 2011 05:01 pm (UTC)
So cute: "I did throw a mud pie at a boy once."

"Was it Pete?" Helena asks.

Myka rolls her eyes. "As a child."

Beautiful.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:37 pm (UTC)
Hee, thank you. It would have been rude to not put some adorable banter in-between the angst. Thanks for reading! :)
mondoshawan555: Myka&HGmondoshawan555 on October 7th, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
I don't know what to say... crying again.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:38 pm (UTC)
Aw, I am both honored and sad that you cried. I'm sure everything will be okay in the next season! And if not we can all just form a fangirl mob. :) Thanks for reading!
tarebear23tarebear23 on October 7th, 2011 06:13 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. My shipper heart cannot handle any more angst right now, but this is just perfect. Thank you for writing this. I do hope things get better in S4.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:40 pm (UTC)
I'm sure they will! Or at least I really think they will. If they don't I will have a few choice words for them. At least we have the possibility of HG's spin-off (in which Myka can suddenly be transported back in time and join in on... obviously.) Thanks for reading! :)
lauren: no fate but what we makehoeyon on October 8th, 2011 01:53 am (UTC)
Ugh, my feeeelings.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:40 pm (UTC)
HG and Warehouse are just causing all the feelings lately. :( Thanks for reading!
myriadrunmyriadrun on October 8th, 2011 02:57 am (UTC)
lovely
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
Falcon Horus: WH13 - Bering & Wells (1)falcon_horus on October 8th, 2011 10:37 am (UTC)
*is in denial*

She has to come back! She has to come back! She has to come back!

Bering & Wells - Bering & Wells - Bering & Wells - Wells & Bering

*repeats over and over again*

Much love for this fic. :)

The mud pie part made me giggle cause I was thinking the same thing as Helena before she said it. =P
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:42 pm (UTC)
She's totally coming back! If Artie can blow up in flames and be saved by the phoenix then that damn stopwatch can totally bring H.G. back. COME ON NOW.

I'm glad you liked it! And that I managed to get a giggle amongst the angst. Thanks for reading! :)
Fallon Ash: w13 puzzledfallon_ash on October 8th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC)
Gosh, this is beautiful and tragic and just perfect.
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and commenting! :)
NudeInTheGutternudeinthegutter on October 9th, 2011 05:49 pm (UTC)
Oh christ, all you writers are determined to reduce me to a sobbing mess.
This is the second HG/Myka fic that's made me cry today.


Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:44 pm (UTC)
Aww, I am mildly apologetic but glad the fic did what it was supposed to do, lol. I'm sure she'll come back and then no more sobbing. ♥
S A R A H: w13 - hgwellstheagonyofblank on October 9th, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, god. Excuse me while I go cry again.

Very well done - it could easily fit into a Warehouse episode!
Aly: {WH13} HG Wellstenacious_err on October 9th, 2011 07:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! That's a great compliment. Thanks for reading! :)